Sunday, 31 March 2013

Where do men go to cry?


Though I’m not in Malawi as a clinician I get a peak, every now and then, of local hospital life. The compound is formed of too main buildings and a few smaller ones. Often in the morning one can hear loud, desperate crying that echoes from shelter that was built close to the hospital as a house of grief. Far too often a corpse is rushed there on a gernie followed my crying women. Their mourning is loud and by no means reserved. Sometimes I wonder, if they want to show their sorrow properly there and then so that they can move on with their lives as soon as possible. After a while the gathering accompanies the deceased for the last journey. Nearly always they’re ladies. Men are there mainly as drivers or play otherwise minor part.

Back home grief is often silent and somehow shameful as if emotions are to be hidden. To be strong in times of sorrow has become almost a standard.

When the former North-Korean leader died news footage showed crowds of people loudly crying after him on the streets. My heart broke as I saw them. Was it genuine or done because of fear?

I’d like to learn from Malawians on this. Cry with those who are in grief. Men included.

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